You may be wondering why so early in my blog “career” I’ve already had a guest blogger. Well, if you look closely, you will see that this is MY blog. And thats reason enough. My post will be up here either today or Tuesday. But enough sarcasm for now, Im actually really excited to introduce to you guys a wonderful friend, mother, and author that Ive known since I was 16 years old. The world may know her as @ItsGizz, Ms. Kanari Yello, but she just BG to me. Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for Ms. Brigetta Charmaine. Enjoy!
…….swag.
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“Either we’re going to get married or we’re going to break up!” << When did this become an acceptable scale of options when engaging in what you would think is a loving and committed relationship seeing as how marriage is thrown about?? I don’t think I quite understand. To recite vows before God confessing your unconditional (yes, unconditional i.e. through sickness, in health, until death, etc) love towards the person you WOULD LIKE to spend the rest of your life with is a promise… before God!
Now, I ALL CAP’d would like because typically these days there is a space left for reneging in case you choose to back pedal into the single life again. But if that is the case, then why not remain in a relationship?? Why not just remain engaged until you are done transitioning and full capable of functioning in a unconditionally grounded marriage?? After all, is that not what the engagement stage is for?? To say, “Hey I want to marry you, but as we transition into this stage and plan the physical ceremony and such let’s just make sure this is what I want to do and where I want to be.” These days it appears that what I assumed was a transitional period (maybe I’m trippin’) is the part where you just show off your engagement ring, save up money for all of the PHYSICAL things (weddings and houses), and pack up to move out. Then we (being Americans alive in 2010) get to the marriage portion which is supposed to be concrete and use that time instead as the “Ok, let’s double check our answers. Did u have a. for number 1?” That’s when people realize their spouses have jacked up credit or even worse jacked up morals.
But, back to my original point… To choose your permanent mate is to say you cannot imagine life without them. Am I wrong?? It’s not saying you cannot live without them, but that you cannot imagine what it would be like for them to be missing. So why in this instance would breaking up even be an option?? To break up is to say,” I am done with you. “To mentally prepare yourself for the option of breaking up is to say, “I am okay if we decide to be done with each other”. To propose to someone is to say, “I could not imagine this feeling ever ending.” So how did we come to a point where we have individuals combining these different phrases and hypnotizing ourselves into believing that marriage has a trial period?? Should your entire relationship not be the trial period?? Oh yeh, that’s right. I forgot to mention the relationship has now become the “I’m comfortable and content with you so let’s do this until were ready to be forreal forreal”. Mind boggling…
I blame society as an entirety for the failure to uphold not just past or traditional morals because that is not the message here, but an institution created through God and by God based on a promise we make TO God. Unless that is, you do not follow the Christian rituals associated with my interpretation of marriage. Then in that case, *tips hat* good day!
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Brigetta Weatherington
www.kanariyello.com
arayegee
Reason 
I’m just playing devil’s advocate.
How does one ever know when he or she is READY to transition into a “for death do us part” situation when he or she has never been in one before. For some folk, the “shit or get off the pot” mentality is a relationship is the way they compare their answers. If girl wants to marry boy and it seems like he is hemming and hawing about the matter..well..maybe he got D for number one. If that’s the case, then maybe they aren’t forever material and girl would do better to move one.
The catch 22 with that situation is that no woman can make a man commit to a relationship with that foolishness. It MIGHT make him examine his feelings, but if he hasn’t decided that he wants her to be his forever those words are NOT going to spur him into action.
That “reneging” period that you talk about has been there since the divorce was popularized…but hell, it’s been there as long as we have had free choice. People make that vow for forever before God and take a mistress, break up and live in separate homes without divorce…I could keep going, but I bet you get the point.
I don’t think it’s as much about the rituals as it is about each individuals relationship with God, his or her understanding of marriage and what marriage is supposed to be…after all, people can engage in rituals without emotion.